Freedom

The entire purpose was my escape. My freedom, if you will, from my obligations and beliefs. The effort I make to be as cold as the moon that lights the midnight air. The struggle to let go of everything and to find myself.

How can I be free? You have a right to say what's on your mind, but it hurts. I can't be normal, I can't be human, and I can't be free. So your every reminder that you're hurting kills me inside because I CAN'T. Yeah, it's easy to say when you're outside the darkness - but living with it? Opening your eyes every morning to the same bleak fucking world and the same dark shadow inside that very deep corner of your mind and trying so hard to just LIVE but everywhere there are people crying out to you?

Yeah, you care, I know. But I can't hold myself together, and every part and piece of me isn't ready for this. Destiny, fate, a wish upon a star... these things don't mean anything if I don't know who I am. For the sake of me, if you love me and really care, let me go. Holding me back and wishing I was beside you is only what you want - but I need to disappear like dust in the wind. I told you that once upon a time, and although I tried, it fell apart.

I'm still looking for that bright light, the freedom I'm trying to grab a hold of. But I can't do it if you're holding me down. I'm sorry.