Facemouth

Okay, so storytime:

I woke up one morning with this HUGE pain in my jaw, on the right side. I couldn't close my mouth without wincing because there was just this buildup of pressure near my ear. Originally I thought I had an ear infection or maybe a really bad toothache, so I took a few Advil to relieve the pain. After a few hours, the pain disappeared, and it was like nothing had happened. So I was like, "Alright" and just went on with whatever.

Then a few days later, I woke up with the same pain, but on the other side. This time I said, "No way this is an earache or toothache" because how could I get toothache on both sides in such a short time? That's a huge coincidence, and I'm a man of logic, so I was trying to figure it out. The pain, again, disappeared after a few hours, leaving me confused and puzzled.

So the other day, I took my sister to the dentist and took the opportunity to ask. It turns out I've been grinding my teeth in my sleep from stress.

Now, this wouldn't normally be that big of a problem, but the thing is, I sleep on my face. Quite literally, I have my entire face shoved into the pillow. So I've been grinding my teeth all night, for hours, with the entire weight of my body pushing my mouth into the bed. Thus the cause of my facemouth pain. Lol.


On another note, I found my camera. I thought I had lost it for like, three weeks. I was asking Udit if I had left it in his car after our Sauble camping trip, and he said no, and when I got up to go to the bathroom, I noticed my hat in the corner, on the ground. I picked it up and my camera fell out. I looked at it in stunned silence for like, twenty seconds, then I just screamed in rage. My sister ran upstairs and was like, "the fuck?" I'm so stupid.

Bored

Contents of my desk:

-Banana
-Fork
-Metal bracelet from a cheap kampung shop
-Screwdriver
-Pins, one has a Tetris Heart and the other has cityofghouls.com
-My wallet and cards
-Sunglasses
-Cell phone
-9 pages of MtG rares
-Two AA batteries for my Wiimote
-Mechanical pencil
-Eraser
-Linkin Park: Live in Texas CD
-Vicks Vaporub
-Polysporin
-Miniature Bonsai Kit!
-Dr. Stringfellow's Lem-Oil Fretboard conditioner
-A picture of me and my prom date
-A Mario pokemon card I made myself
-A stuffed gorilla, koala, panda
-Two empty beer bottles
-Deodorant, stick and spray
-Cologne, aramis
-Jar of pennies
-Nail clippers
-Some loose change
-Earbuds
-A tube of Rockets candy
-A sheet with my D2 mule's items
-Various shiny rocks

No Thank You

I'm being disillusioned.

The only drugs I'll ever take are prescription. Sure, you can call me lame, or square - you can tell me I should live life on the edge, that I should stop being so careful - but you know what? I don't have a problem with you using narcotics - if you want to, that's fine. I have a problem when you try to pressure me into it. In all honesty, I'd rather keep myself free of anything that would negatively affect myself or others. I don't even drink caffeine, and when I do consume alcohol, I keep it at a responsible level. I have responsibilities to take care of and drugs aren't high on my list of cool things to do.

And yeah, I think body modification is pointless. It's not a bad thing, you go ahead and do it, but again, don't try and convince me to get a piercing or tattoo. If I ever do, it'll mean something to me, but I won't stick pieces of metal in my body to 'pick up chicks'. You can get one to 'be cool', but I'd rather stick with my own ideals and values than give in to flow with popular culture.

Seriously guys. Yeah, I make bad decisions, but I'm proud to say I've never smoked a day in my life. I've never taken narcotics, never done anything I couldn't tell my mom. That means a lot to me, my self-worth. And yeah, I will get defensive if you pressure me. Your decisions are your own, I'm not blasting you for doing shit to yourselves, but don't fucking try to convince me to go against what I believe.

Song Storm

Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston
I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
Crooked Teeth - Death Cab for Cutie
Where is the Love? - Black Eyed Peas
Yellow - Coldplay
Back Here - B.B. Mak
Stand by Me - Ben E. King
You and Me - Lifehouse

I HAVE LEARNED ALL THESE SONGS IN A WEEK. Fuck do I love guitar.

He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus

My life as of late:

My mom went off to New Zealand yesterday with her old schoolmates to celebrate their 50th birthday, leaving me at home with Stella and Shamrock. It's the first time she's left me in charge for more than a week, so I'm a little apprehensive about having so much responsibility. But 20, right? I can handle it.

The biggest problem I have is leaving the house. I can't really go out for more than an hour, and definitely not overnight, unless I call someone to babysit. I've had to turn down a number of events just to stay home and look after stuff. It sucks, but I'll have to grow up eventually. Just taking it a little earlier than expected.

Most of my time is spent on the computer, which is probably really unhealthy. Luckily I've been taking the dog for runs, so I'm getting sunlight. Oddly enough, I've gained 10 pounds this month from Taekwondo training and learning to backflip, and people have been saying I look healthier. That's pretty awesome, considering I've always been frail (Lol Shani and Andrew, pencil arms).

My hair has really grown out too. I need to get it trimmed, but lately I've just been razoring it myself. Alex and I are probably going to dye our heads and spike it up a la Dragonball Z for frosh week. Yeah, we're massive nerds, but when have I ever been completely normal? Weird is a synonym for Awesome in my dictionary. In any case, my hair is getting in the way alot - makes me wonder if I should buy some hairclips with little butterflies, or just steal my sister's.

Aside from the computer, I've been playing a lot of guitar. I've learned Death Cab's new album, Narrow Stairs, and a couple other songs by Muse and Guns & Roses. Today I went to L&M and bought a set of Super Slinkies, and spent a good hour restringing my RGT42. It has a floyd rose bridge - for those of you not guitar-savvy, it's a complicated piece of hardware that takes FOREVER to adjust, so changing strings turns into a chore. I haven't changed my RGT's strings since I got it over 4 years ago, so it was worth it. It sounds fucking INCREDIBLE - sustain is through the roof, tone is crisp and clear, but I'm still thinking about replacing the stock Infinity humbuckers with some new ones.

I'm going off to play The Killers now. I'll post again soon.

Maybe Black Mesa?

Conversation with a telemarketer:

"Hello?"
"Yes, hello. Can I please speak to Mrs. Sma?"
"She's not in right now..." (in fact my mom is sitting at the dining table)
"Can I please speak to Mr. Sma?"
"Uhm, he's occupied." (technically, Mr. Sma would be me, but whatever)
"Are you over 18 and a member of the household?"
(at this point I usually put on my 'kid' voice and say no really sweetly, but I'm sick of these people calling so...)
"Yes, actually I am."
"Oh wonderful! I'm calling from Action Doors and Windows, and we're giving out free, no-cost estimates during this month and this month only! We have a special offer on replacing all your door and window frames, and we have many specials on frosted glass and specialty panels. This is a one-time offer and limited time. Would you be interested in a free estimate?"
(here I'm thinking, bullshit one-time offer, you've called me every day for the past week)
"Oh, that's amazing! Yes, yes I would be interested. You see, I'm a door myself."
"Pardon?"
"I, uh, I'm a door salesman."
"That's excellent. So you must know a lot about doors. What company are you with?"
"Aperture Science, we operate out of Black Mesa. Maybe you've heard of us before?"
"Oh, no. I'm not familiar with that company. In any case, we can come by within the next week to give you a free, no charge estimate. Is there a specific time when you are free?"
"I'll have to check my schedule. Are you able to repair blue portals?"
"Pardon?"
"My door. It's the blue end of a portal field. The orange part works fine, but anything that goes through it fails to end up on the blue end. It works fine the other way around though, blue to orange. It's actually pretty weird and I've been meaning to get it looked at."
"Er. I'm actually only the company salesperson, I'm not familiar with the different types of doors. Perhaps one of the workers can answer your question when they visit."
"Oh gosh, hang on. My dog just went in through the orange end."
"Uhm."
"Hang on, hang on. Just a second, I have to check whether she came out the blue side."
(at this point my mom is looking at me quizzically. I blow into the phone)
"Sir?"
"Yeah, I'm back. Listen, she hasn't come out the other side yet, and I'm getting kind of worried. I'm thinking I should go in after her, but I might not come out either. Do you have any suggestions? Should I just open up another set of portals, and see what happens?"
"I - Maybe I should call back at a better time?"
"No, hang on. I'm going to go in, but I'll take the cordless phone with me."
"Alright."
"Okay, here I go."
(at this point I scrub my finger along the speaker, making a horrible static noise, then I yell really loud)

I hang up the phone and go back to eating dinner.

Men can show their nipples in public

Aaron: "I'm actually pretty hungry."
GTCMNC: "I have a bag of chips. Plain chips."
Me: "How about dip? Chips and dip equal awesome?"
GTCMNC: "No dip, sorry. We could run to the store and get dip."
Me: "What's in your fridge? We could make our own dip."
GTCMNC: "Jam. And peanut butter. I don't have much to make dip with."
Me: "I've had worse."
GTCMNC: "How about curry? I have curry, we could use the curry to dip the chips with?"
Aaron: "But how will we eat the things in the curry? You know, the chunky bits?"
GTCMNC: "Chicken?"
Me: "We could use two chips. Make a little chip sandwich, you know?"

Moral of the story: CURRY CHIP SANDWICHES ARE AWESOME.

I'm Turning into my Sister

I'm feeling way better now. Letting anger out is pretty therapeutic and after the whole dick-ery this weekend, I've been more upbeat and awesome. I went for a walk with my dog and made out with her on the grass, cause it's her birthday. Don't censor me!

I'm bored though. Reading webcomics and listening to Jann Arden all day is sorta lame - but hey, I fold down the lip of my socks, so I can't say much about being totally crippled. I can't even go back to Hamilton because I have to fix my screen door. Stupid dog and being huge-ass enough to plough through weak plastic framing. Even though I sorta don't want to go back, because, well... DRAAAAMMAAAAAA.

Tomorrow I'm going to Superburger! Or lacking that, going out with my lovely 4th Spares, to Girasole's, our favourite restaurant. I may go overboard and order a fucking expensive meal, crashing my last two government paychecks, but WHATEVER YO. <3 Girasole's. Hey, we haven't been to Symposium lately either - we gotta go back and punch the chick that made fun of my shirt. IN THE FAES.

Man, I have to re-burn my driving CD too. Captain Planet and Batman don't play properly, probably some mix-up between the original MIDI and the converted version. Yeah, shh, I know, HUGE NERD ALERT. Don't even get me started with Red Alert 3 - ARMORED BEARS WTF.

The word of the day is Aewoms!

Hey kid

I'm fine. But I wish you were too.

Darker

During the past week after returning from Vancouver, there's been some changes.

As per the previous few posts, self-victimization and a lack of self-respect have been some noticeable flaws in my otherwise impeccable poise, and lately I've been taking steps to change that.

There is one large side-effect that I had expected and foreseen.

Back when I was a kid, before all this drama, I was the world's most arrogant and egotistical child. I have proof. Skip forward a decade and that version of me has been suppressed and caged. I can't get rid of it because it's part of who I am - the twisted individual under the surface.

It's the part of me that never grew up. An arrogant, self-serving jackass that lurks just underneath my skin, angry at being held back all these years, forced to smile and be polite and lick other people's boots to make them happy. It's the side of my personality that once punched my sister and tried to push my mom down the stairs. And it's become the source of my depression, hate, anger - The Dark Passenger.

And now it's coming out. I have to keep it on a short leash, but I find myself short on patience and high on temper. I've told people to shut up, to leave me alone, to go fuck themselves. I'm scared, because I'm becoming someone new and old at the same time, and I find myself falling into a familiar attitude. But on the other hand, part of me feels free, liberated, and the darker side of me enjoys the sadistic pleasure of telling others to go shove it.

I really don't care much anymore. Don't come to me.