Recollections

I was sitting in my room this morning when I began to think of some of the more exciting moments in my life, and I thought back to many times when me and my friends used to stage 'ant fights' that would make PETA shit their breeches. Of course, one thought led to another, and soon I was contemplating on the 'Poo Pot Pie' we made back in elementary school. For your amusement, I've compiled a short montage of things I've done over the course of my life.

On my fourth birthday, my ice-cream cake melted in my lap when I was taking a photo. I tried to hold my smile for as long as I could, but as Murphy's Law would have it, my composure broke just as the camera snapped, taking a nice picture of my bawling face as cold ice-cream rolled down my pants.

Once, when trying to jump down the stairs, I slammed my forehead into the ceiling, then did a full-out somersault, landing on my face at the bottom.

When I was six, I invited my mom to come 'camping' with me. I set up a tent in my bedroom then made her drink small cups of water and eat a pack of those crappy Halloween chips. Sorry mom.

In Grade 8, I broke my French teacher's mind when she caught me drinking packets of hot sauce when her back was turned. I also used to gulp air and let out horrendous burps at the worst possible moments, then meekly apologize before doing it again.

A few years previously, in Grade 6, a number of my classmates and I began to sway back and forth in tandem. Our teacher thought she was going insane and ran out of the classroom to throw up. In hindsight, it wasn't really funny, but at the time, we thought it was hilarious.

Once, I borrowed a book from the library, called "Love Letters" and lost it, incurring the eternal wrath of the librarians. When we moved house, I found it buried under the sofa, and I still have it on my bookshelf.

When I was in Malaysia, I left a half-eaten lollipop on my dresser before I went to sleep. The next morning, we spent an hour destroying the living carpet of ants that had crawled onto my bed during the night.

In elementary school, we used to play a game called "Elevator Shaft." One person would stand in the center of a group of 4 people, who would scream "ELEVATOR SHAFT!" and proceed to body-check him simultaneously, crushing his ribcage. I don't know why we thought this was fun.

Once, my gym teacher threw his shoe backwards over his shoulder and it went into the basketball net.

My friends and I discovered a bush that grew 'poison berries'. We used the juice to 'poison' ants, who most likely drowned as opposed to being poisoned. I know this because when my friends weren't looking, I ate a few.

I jumped off a bench once and landed on my head.

When I was a kid, I used to look at my butt in the mirror and imagine it was talking to me.

Once, I got scared because I thought the glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs on my wall were moving, so I ran to my parents' room. It turns out that I had really bad eyesight from reading 'Encyclopedia Brown' books under my pillow at night, and then I got glasses.

I used the disconnected support strut from a baby mobile as a pretend gun. I also took bottles of water for grenades and a flashlight as a laser. Then I went hunting for aliens in my dark basement, until I tripped and slammed my head into the washing machine.

Just yesterday, I starting singing quietly to myself while walking down the street, and when I got to the end of the road, I realized some lady had been walking behind me and listening to my random mumblings. When she saw that I had spotted her, she crossed over to the other side of the road.

Waking Up

I woke up the other morning at around 7:30 to the buzz of Dean, Jason and Todd, courtesy of my clock radio.

I lay there for a little while, trying to plan my day.

I had Software class at 8:30. I also needed to finish my lab report due at twelve. Maybe if I had some time I'd grab some breakfast - which reminded me I needed to go buy some eggs. I also needed to shower, brush my teeth, get changed, and check Facebook for any events that may have come up.

Anyways, I was considering getting up to brush my teeth, but another glance at the clock reminded me that the walk to school would take about 20 minutes, if I didn't catch the bus. So I decided that I might save some time by brushing my teeth while in the shower, because I really wanted to spend some time browsing Facebook.

But then I realized that by the time I was done, I wouldn't have any time to eat breakfast, and I was pretty hungry that morning. So maybe I could eat breakfast on my way to school, and brush my teeth in the shower.

It was only after I was about to get up that I remembered my lab report due at noon. I really had to get that done, but it was on my laptop. So if I walked while typing with one hand, I might be able to finish by 12, then have time to do something fun this afternoon.

But then I remembered breakfast, and carrying my laptop while typing and eating required a number of extra hands. So my best bet was to do my lab report during software class, and eat on the way to school, and to brush my teeth during my shower, and that way I'd have time to go buy some eggs after class to make myself some real food.

Finally, I sat up in bed and looked at my clock to see how much time I had left. It was already 8:30, so I decided to go back to sleep.

An Encounter Along a Busy Street

Weep for the world, for the people in it. Cry for the loss of innocence, and the feelings we cannot put into words.


I was walking down the grey, rainy streets the other day when I heard a short cry from a nearby pine tree. By prior life experience, I concluded that pine trees do not yelp, and thus the noise must have come from somewhere beneath the tree.

I slung my weighted backpack off my shoulders, placing it on the wet sidewalk with a soft thud. I wasn't too worried - I only had my physics lab report in it. If it got wet... well, it was a piece of crud anyways.

Kneeling down, I took a look underneath the dripping branches. I must have looked odd to any passerby. My entire body was soaked, and I was kneeling in a puddle (that I had just noticed when I put my knees in it).

As I peered under the tree boughs, I was surprised to see what appeared to be a silvery reflection of my own eyes in the shadows. Upon closer inspection, I realized that the eyes belonged to something else - in this case, a cat, who had unwittingly crawled under the prickly pine, and had somehow gotten lodged inside.

I didn't know whether it had been chasing a mouse, with such blind concentration that it had found itself wedged under a tree, or if it had crawled in to get out of the pouring rain. As I looked the cat in the eyes, it looked me back - a look of predatory instinct, a wariness few humans can fathom, one truly belonging to a lord of the animal kingdom.

I tried to coax it out, but it merely stared at me with an almost amused expression. It was dry, while I was wet, and for a moment I considered diving under the tree to join it. It seemed so content in just watching me struggle to make that connection between animal and human.

Eventually, I gave up. I waved goodbye to the small cat, hidden under the tree. To my surprise, when I had moved a few steps, it dashed out from under the pine, fast as lightning, bolting to the other side of the street. Once it had safely reached the other sidewalk, it stopped and turned to look back at me. Then it was gone.

I don't know what it was thinking. But I felt a little bit honored, as if the cat had taken some time out of its busy schedule of chasing small woodland creatures, just to consider me. For the rest of the day, I walked around with a small grin on my face.

I walked back from school today, along the same street. I kept an eye out for the cat, even stopping to check underneath the same tree. But it wasn't there. Like a ghost, it had stopped, momentarily, in my life, then vanished in the winter breeze. But the few minutes I shared with it were worth my time.

In our busy schedule, where everything seems to happen at the speed of light, when can we find time for small miracles? MSN and emoticons have replaced the spoken word and true emotion, and the advent of technology has heralded the demise of real-life interaction. If only there was a small cat for all of us.

I still check under that tree every day.