High Maintenance

Analysis time.

I'll be the first to admit I'm not normal. I have issues that make me a non-typical guy, not to mention a non-typical person. I can accept my history as something different, but it's at times like this that I really do hate what life has done to me. If I were any more 'normal', would things be different? And the answer is obviously yes, things would be different, I would be different, and maybe I would have gotten a different answer. I'm not assuming, I'm just wondering. My life has made me who I am, for sure, but it's also made me unusual and hard to understand.

I know my faults clearly. I wish I was 40 pounds heavier and was more aggressive. I wish I was better-looking, less insecure, so on and so forth. It's nothing I can change, because my faults are part of me and make me who I am. Anyone that accepts me has to accept my faults, and it might be difficult because they are a lot of them. As Katrina says, I'm 'high maintenance'. I'm an attention whore and I have an insanely high ego. I know I sell myself way too hard.

I had hoped for a chance but it's better it happens now than later. I do have my slight glimpses into the future after all, and I knew there was a very good chance things would never have worked. But hope, right? Risk, right? Taking the chance to ask was a big step for me. I don't think I've ever gotten a straight out Just Friends and I'm glad I did it.

Anyways, time to move on. It's a new day outside, I'm free, and life always gets better.