So sad to see myself go.
It's always a little odd, when I watch the sun set on another day, and the stars come out.
I wonder if somewhere out there, my friends remember me? I know I've lost a lot of people I once knew... but I still think about them with every memory, good or bad.
The kids I used to hang out with back in kindergarten... where are you now?
The girl I talked to on the bus that one day, when it was freakin' cold... where did you go?
The boy who accidently hit me in the face at the amusement park... what happened to you?
And not just that.
Those friends I had back in grade 8... why don't you remember me?
The kids in my high school classes that sat behind me... do you recognize me?
The people in my university res... do you notice me?
Odd isn't it? Many times we call people friends, only to disappear. I wonder... did the people I leave behind ever think of me as a friend? Did they ever cry, wishing for a friend, any friend, and ever think of me?
I'd like to think I'm memorable, but the truth is every single one of us is forgettable and expendable. There comes a time when you lose people close to you. The human heart, and capacity for endurance is incredible, but both a blessing and a curse. It allows us to go through the hardest times, but also to let go of the most precious people.
So, to my friends I have left behind... I am so sorry. May we meet again one day, and then, I promise a proper farewell. None of this botched, unfinished business that leaves a gaping hole. If we are doomed to never reunite, then I hope that you'll think of me every now and then. Godspeed, my friends.
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Godspeed
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2 comments:
That's pretty crazy actually. Namely because I have an incredible amount of issues with people, and relationships, and generally moving on. I tend to make sudden, clean breaks with people, that kind of disppearing quietly instead of some memorable reason why we stopped talking. I'd rather people forget me than remember me for the wrong reasons.
But you manage to be memorable in your own way, so never fear. There will be those. There will be me at least.
And me. You know, earlier, I wrote this long meaningful comment to post here, about how memorable you are, and the random times I think of you in all your sillyness. Like last night, when someone mentioned Hannibal Rising, I said (to Aldy) "It's supposed to be good, else Justin still wouldn't be orgasming over it." And then we got into some silly discussion about how you would cream yourself over anything morbid.
Anyhow...
You are memorable. To me. So there's that, no? I mean, who doesn't want some silly girl remembering them?
I know how you feel... being forgettable, so easily. "Hey, who was that girl who came and said hi yo you yesterday? What was her name?" "I dunno, some kid I met at school." "Oh. -shrug- Well I liked her shirt."
I'll never forget you...
Ten years from now, when you're picture is plastered all over the news with the headline "Serial killer at large", I'll be all "Oh shit! Justin's coming for me! I should have posted more often!"
Love ya, little brother!
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