What am I doing?

Inner peace feels like cherries in spring and the leaves in August. It's like scratching an itch. Like finding a perfect puddle of water.

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I don't deserve to be happy. That makes me more depressed. So in a way, I'm digging my own grave. Because I'll be trying to be happy, but then I'll just remember...

Do you know what makes me so sad? How easy it is to fake a smile. People like me smile when they're dying, they laugh when their heart breaks, and they crack jokes when everything seems to be going WRONG.

How many people have I seen fall? How many have I made fall? Do I deserve happiness when those who truly deserve it have missed that?

Every night, I look up and wish upon a star, every birthday I blow out those candles and wish... I wish that this world would just let me go. I wish they were no need for people like me.

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