Introspective, Retrospective

Life is difficult. I've known that for a very long time. Things are always a struggle, and anything of worth must be won by blood and faith.

How do I feel? I feel alone. In a world full of people, you can lose sight of it all, and the darkness inside you can make you feel so small. I can envy those around me and wish I were like them, but it would be pointless - I can recognize the shadows around every heart, and each person has their troubles and turmoils. Envy is just a misinformed response, because in reality, no one is better than anyone else.

I wish I was normal enough to have a relationship. While I can give love to the people who need it, I can't give it to myself. I don't have confidence in my own abilities, so how can I expect someone else to have faith in me? I don't know why. Everyone I meet seems to know who they are, and where they're going. Even the worst of people know how to get what they want.

Like a forest path, the trees block my already narrow vision, limiting my view to the path in front of me and the footsteps behind me. There are only two choices at this juncture - forwards, or back. To move on into new horizons, or to seek the safety of the known - a difficult choice to make for someone who's lost.

The wind blows, and leaves scatter in the gale of air, twirling and fluttering around like so many colorful scraps of history.