Skull beneath the Skin

People are much possessed by death. In every corner of the world, people kill, and people obsess over death more than life. Murders and horror stories appeal more to the human psyche - but why?

Is everyone so caught up in hatred that they enjoy the stories of suffering on the daily news? The Christmas season is a time of relaxation and love, yet there are shootings, overdoses, kidnappings and robberies daily.

Humans scare me.

Recollections

I was sitting in my room this morning when I began to think of some of the more exciting moments in my life, and I thought back to many times when me and my friends used to stage 'ant fights' that would make PETA shit their breeches. Of course, one thought led to another, and soon I was contemplating on the 'Poo Pot Pie' we made back in elementary school. For your amusement, I've compiled a short montage of things I've done over the course of my life.

On my fourth birthday, my ice-cream cake melted in my lap when I was taking a photo. I tried to hold my smile for as long as I could, but as Murphy's Law would have it, my composure broke just as the camera snapped, taking a nice picture of my bawling face as cold ice-cream rolled down my pants.

Once, when trying to jump down the stairs, I slammed my forehead into the ceiling, then did a full-out somersault, landing on my face at the bottom.

When I was six, I invited my mom to come 'camping' with me. I set up a tent in my bedroom then made her drink small cups of water and eat a pack of those crappy Halloween chips. Sorry mom.

In Grade 8, I broke my French teacher's mind when she caught me drinking packets of hot sauce when her back was turned. I also used to gulp air and let out horrendous burps at the worst possible moments, then meekly apologize before doing it again.

A few years previously, in Grade 6, a number of my classmates and I began to sway back and forth in tandem. Our teacher thought she was going insane and ran out of the classroom to throw up. In hindsight, it wasn't really funny, but at the time, we thought it was hilarious.

Once, I borrowed a book from the library, called "Love Letters" and lost it, incurring the eternal wrath of the librarians. When we moved house, I found it buried under the sofa, and I still have it on my bookshelf.

When I was in Malaysia, I left a half-eaten lollipop on my dresser before I went to sleep. The next morning, we spent an hour destroying the living carpet of ants that had crawled onto my bed during the night.

In elementary school, we used to play a game called "Elevator Shaft." One person would stand in the center of a group of 4 people, who would scream "ELEVATOR SHAFT!" and proceed to body-check him simultaneously, crushing his ribcage. I don't know why we thought this was fun.

Once, my gym teacher threw his shoe backwards over his shoulder and it went into the basketball net.

My friends and I discovered a bush that grew 'poison berries'. We used the juice to 'poison' ants, who most likely drowned as opposed to being poisoned. I know this because when my friends weren't looking, I ate a few.

I jumped off a bench once and landed on my head.

When I was a kid, I used to look at my butt in the mirror and imagine it was talking to me.

Once, I got scared because I thought the glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs on my wall were moving, so I ran to my parents' room. It turns out that I had really bad eyesight from reading 'Encyclopedia Brown' books under my pillow at night, and then I got glasses.

I used the disconnected support strut from a baby mobile as a pretend gun. I also took bottles of water for grenades and a flashlight as a laser. Then I went hunting for aliens in my dark basement, until I tripped and slammed my head into the washing machine.

Just yesterday, I starting singing quietly to myself while walking down the street, and when I got to the end of the road, I realized some lady had been walking behind me and listening to my random mumblings. When she saw that I had spotted her, she crossed over to the other side of the road.

Waking Up

I woke up the other morning at around 7:30 to the buzz of Dean, Jason and Todd, courtesy of my clock radio.

I lay there for a little while, trying to plan my day.

I had Software class at 8:30. I also needed to finish my lab report due at twelve. Maybe if I had some time I'd grab some breakfast - which reminded me I needed to go buy some eggs. I also needed to shower, brush my teeth, get changed, and check Facebook for any events that may have come up.

Anyways, I was considering getting up to brush my teeth, but another glance at the clock reminded me that the walk to school would take about 20 minutes, if I didn't catch the bus. So I decided that I might save some time by brushing my teeth while in the shower, because I really wanted to spend some time browsing Facebook.

But then I realized that by the time I was done, I wouldn't have any time to eat breakfast, and I was pretty hungry that morning. So maybe I could eat breakfast on my way to school, and brush my teeth in the shower.

It was only after I was about to get up that I remembered my lab report due at noon. I really had to get that done, but it was on my laptop. So if I walked while typing with one hand, I might be able to finish by 12, then have time to do something fun this afternoon.

But then I remembered breakfast, and carrying my laptop while typing and eating required a number of extra hands. So my best bet was to do my lab report during software class, and eat on the way to school, and to brush my teeth during my shower, and that way I'd have time to go buy some eggs after class to make myself some real food.

Finally, I sat up in bed and looked at my clock to see how much time I had left. It was already 8:30, so I decided to go back to sleep.